Earth-X
Warehouse
Man : Hey, Doc, you really think you can make that thing work?
Man 2 : We need to make it work if we're ever gonna bring hope back to this darkened world.
Nazi Oliver : You're the best they could send?
Nazi James : Funny, I was gonna say the same thing. There are more like me, and one day they will free this world.
Nazi Oliver : That day may come, but you won't be here to see it. That flag died a long time ago.
Nazi James : Well, it still means something.
Nazi Oliver : Yeah. It's a bull's-eye. With this, our reign will last for eternity.
Central City
Street
Iris : Barry, we have a major problem.
Barry : Yep. Fighting it right now.
Star Lab
Iris : No, no, it's about our wedding.
Street
Barry : This is not the best time.
Star Lab
Iris : Well, the caterers need a final count tomorrow morning and not everyone has RSVP'd yet.
Barry : Who hasn't RSVP'd?
Star City
Warehouse
Felicity : Hey, Oliver, we gotta talk. Earth to Oliver.
Oliver : I'm a little busy right now.
Arrow Team’s lair
Felicity : Well, it's not like you're dealing with Damien Darhk, I mean, these are just some ninjas.
Warehouse
Oliver : If you were here, you might have a little more respect for "just some ninjas".
Arrow Team’s lair
Felicity : Okay, this is serious. Barry and Iris need to know if we're going to their wedding.
Warehouse
Oliver : Of course we're going.
Arrow Team’s lair
Felicity : Okay, so I'll RSVP yes, then?
Warehouse
Oliver : Barring further ninjas.
Arrow Team’s lair
Felicity : Perfect.
England – 1183
Wood
Man : Please, sir, alms for the poor?
Man 2 : Out of the way, old man. Royal business in Nottingham. It'll be your neck if we're late. It's Robin Hood!
Sara : Not quite.
Stein : Oh, dear.
Sara : Hey, guys, did we RSVP for Iris and Barry's wedding?
Jax : We definitely did not.
Stein : Then that's a serious breech of courtesy.
Mick : Weddings are the worst.
Stein : All right, team, let's go! We got a wedding to prepare for!
National City
Street
Man : Wrong answer. When I tell you to get someone on the phone, that doesn't mean five minutes, that means right now. I don't care if they're busy, you make it happen. Otherwise, you're not gonna be able to afford a phone. My car!
DEO
Alex : I'm scrambling a strike team.
Hank : There's no time, she's on her own. Supergirl, identify the threat so we can help you fight it.
Winn : Whatever it is, it came out of deep orbit and it is mad.
Hank : So it's alien?
Winn : Well, it's definitely not NASA.
Alex : Is it Czarnian?
Winn : Or Hellgrammite.
Street
Kara : Dominator. These guys are so last year.
DEO
Mon-El : I heard there was a fight. Is Kara okay?
Alex : Fine. She's Supergirl.
Kara’s apartment
Kara : So, Mon-El just showed up like nothing was wrong?
Alex : I think he was just trying to make things seem normal.
Kara : Normal? The man I love, and thought was dead, is alive. And every night I'd make up all these scenarios of how I'd see him again and now he's actually here, but, guess what? He's married. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be complaining. I know you're still dealing with the pain of Maggie.
Alex : At least, we have each other. And misery loves company.
Kara : God, that's depressing.
Alex : Mmm-hmm. Yep. And on that note, I'm gonna get another drink. Hey. What's this?
Kara : Oh, wedding invitation.
Alex : "Barry Allen". As in, wait, the Flash, Barry Allen?
Kara : The one and only.
Alex : Oh. When is it?
Kara : Tomorrow, I guess.
Alex : Are you going?
Kara : Do I look like the kind of person that's in the mood to go to a wedding? Besides, I'm not the only one on that invitation.
Alex : You're right. This is not a time for us to go out or have any fun, this is our time to wallow, to drown our sorrows, and put on breakup weight.
Kara : No.
Alex : I was just kidding. I know that you're incapable of putting on weight. Which I totally resent.
Kara : I mean, we are not going to just sit here and wallow. We are going to get ourselves out of this funk and off of this couch, and we're going to get our mojo back.
Alex : What? Wait, what are we doing?
Kara : We're going to that wedding.
Central City
Care institut
Felicity : Iris, you are really glowing.
Iris : Aw.
Caitlin : Wait, it's pregnant women who glow, brides blush.
Iris : Right. Blushing bride I can do, the other one, not just yet.
Felicity : Oh, It doesn't get better than this, ladies.
Kara : I know. It feels so good to just be away from it all. Everything.
Iris : Where's Mon-El?
Kara ; You know what? It's a long story, but thank you for letting me bring my sister as my plus-one.
Iris : Yeah. Absolutely. I'm actually really excited to meet her.
Felicity : Me, too.
Kara : Uh… Oh, I'm sorry. I should have warned you. I take a lot of keratin.
Felicity : Super strong nails.
Iris : So, um, you and Oliver? You guys next, you think, to walk down the aisle?
Felicity : Maybe once the city is not being attacked and Oliver is no longer under indictment and he's spent enough time with his son who is still mourning the loss of his mother.
Caitlin : So, any day now.
Felicity : Any day now.
Caitlin : Well, cheers, Iris, to your big day. To your big day.
All : Cheers.
Iris : Thanks, girls.
Kara : Cheers to you.
Shop
Barry : You know, I mean, I've been in love with Iris since I was ten. How am I supposed to fit all that love into one vow? I've already written 38 pages, single spaced.
Oliver : You could always speed-read it.
Barry : No, no one would understand me. I don't know what to do, man, I need help.
Oliver : Barry, when you're up there, and you look into her eyes…
Barry : Damn.
Oliver : …the words will come. And if they don't, the look on your face will tell her everything that she needs to know. You clean up nice, my friend.
Barry : Thanks. Yeah, you, too.
Oliver : I can't believe you're really doing this.
Barry : Yeah, man. What can I say, I got the girl. And, so did you. You ever think about making it official?
Oliver : Again? Yeah. Um… I think that with everything going on right now, it's just not the right time.
Barry : You love her?
Oliver : I love her so much.
Barry : Put a ring on her. People like us are always going to be getting into trouble, right? Having someone we love by our side just makes getting out of that trouble that much easier. We have something to fight for. If I can have my happy ending, so can you. I promise.
Oliver : I'm supposed to be the all-knowing mentor.
Barry : I have been known to catch up. What's wrong? You didn't react to my joke. Oh. That's fine, he got it.
Star Lab
Cisco : I call it, "The calm after the Firestorm".
Jax : What is it?
Harrison : It's efficient decelerating serum.
Stein : It's a cure? We've spent months trying to devise a solution to neutralize the Firestorm matrix.
Jax : Uh, separate ourselves without blowing up.
Harrison : Or switching bodies. We read your notes. Although, why you wouldn't want to switch bodies with him is beyond me.
Cisco : What Squidward here means to say is, we took the data you extrapolated from Newton and Curie and Galileo…
Harrison : Hacks, every one of them.
Cisco : …and we ran it through a Conway class nucleo-dynamic synthesizer. Hold your applause, I only built it myself.
Harrison : First off, nobody was clapping. Second, that explains why it couldn't splice a proton for a neutrino field.
Cisco : I'll splice the proton from your neutrino field.
Harrison : "Fields". I've got a million fields.
Cisco : Really? Are all your fields this unbearable?
Stein : Gentlemen, we appreciate your efforts, but how do you account for the destabilization of the Firestorm matrix?
Cisco : We trick it.
Harrison : We trick it.
Stein : Quark spheres. They'll convince the matrix that our genetic codes are connected, when, in actuality, they're not. That's genius.
Jax : And, you're sure this'll work? No powers for either of us?
Cisco : Guaranteed to put out the fire in Firestorm.
Harrison : One of you takes it…
Cisco : Boom. You're back to your old selves.
Harrison : No offense.
Stein : Uh, just to be safe, I'd like to have Gideon run some tests, calculate dosage. We could take this directly after the ceremony. I can't wait to tell Clarissa and Lily that I'm finally coming home. This is fantastic news, isn't it?
Jax : Yeah, it's great. It's everything we wanted, so thanks, guys.
Cisco : You're welcome.
Harrison : You're welcome.
Earth X
Unknown place
Nazi Oliver: Hail victory!
All : Hail Fuhrer!
Man : The rebels' technology is impressive. It's a good thing you stopped them when you did.
Nazi Oliver : Can you make it work?
Man : Yes. But I need time to test it. To ensure they haven't set a trap.
Nazi Kara : You have one day.
Nazi Oliver : You heard her.
Central City
Star Lab
Caitlin : Almost time for the rehearsal dinner.
Stein : Of course. I was just finishing up some personal work. Come in, my dear. How are you doing?
Caitlin : I'm okay.
Stein : Yes, the last wedding we attended together…
Caitlin : Was mine.
Stein : Ronnie was such a great man. I should know. I might have spent more time with him than you did.
Caitlin : He was the best.
Stein : Hmm.
Caitlin : I think he'd be so happy for you, though. You know Cisco and Wells needed my help to come up with that cure, right?
Stein : Of course, my darling. Caitlin, I saw your brilliance written all over it.
Caitlin : So what will you do when you're no longer Firestorm?
Stein : Be a better husband, I hope. And father. There's a project I promised Lily we would work on together. And, most importantly, I'll be spending time with my grandson. I plan to regale him with thousands of bedtime stories from all my adventures, and I intend to teach him chess.
Caitlin : That sounds lovely. We better get going. Joe said that he'd lock up anyone who missed his speech.
Stein : Oh. You better run along. I'll be right with you.
Caitlin : Okay.
CCJITTERS
Cisco : I never pegged you as a wedding guy.
Mick : I never pass up on a free buffet. Or an open bar. Sorry, didn't I try and kidnap you, once?
Caitlin : Yes. And I wouldn't try that again.
Sara : Somebody who drinks like that is looking to make something go away.
Alex : Yeah, well… And what are you looking to make go away?
Sara : Nothing. I just like the taste of scotch.
Alex : Fair enough. I just called off my engagement.
Sara : Ooh.
Alex : Yeah. So being here… Really brings up a lot.
Sara : What, did you catch him cheating?
Alex : Uh-uh. Her. It wasn't anything like that. We just wanted different things, you know? Wish I had realized that sooner. Had to make a break for it before later came around.
Sara : So, let me guess, being at the rehearsal dinner for the world's most perfect couple is probably the last place that you wanna be.
Alex : It stings a little, yeah.
Sara : To making things go away.
Alex : And loving the taste of scotch.
Barry : Hey.
Kara : Hey. This is really nice. Thanks for having us.
Barry : Of course. Um, actually, I wanted to ask you for a favor. By the way, your sister seems to be tipping the elbow pretty heavy.
Kara : Oh, that's fine.
Barry : Oh.
Kara : No one can drink Alex under a table. She's just had a rough go of it lately.
Barry : She's not the only one, I'm guessing. I just noticed you don't have your plus-one with you.
Kara : Oh, I am pluses zero these days.
Barry : Sorry. What happened with Mon-El?
Kara : What didn't happen? The end of the world.
Barry : Faced that three times.
Kara : Time travel.
Barry : I've been there, a lot.
Kara : He's married to someone else.
Barry : Uh-oh. That's… I've got nothing for that. I'm sorry.
Kara : I mean, it's my own fault. I keep forgetting that my life should only be about Supergirl, but then, you know, life keeps finding a way to remind me.
Barry : I finally got Oliver to admit it's okay to have love in his life, now I've got to convince you, too?
Kara : Barry, it's different for you guys, you're human.
Barry : And you're what? Other than an alien, I mean… You know.
Kara : Alone. Anyway, what was the favor you wanted to ask me?
Barry : Oh, um… The last adventure that we had together, I learned about a very cool, new, non-superpower ability that you have.
Kara : Yes.
Barry : I was wondering if you might mind breaking it out?
Clarissa : You're late, as usual.
Stein : Sorry. Had to change.
Lily : Don't you have a time machine?
Stein : Yes. Very droll. Jefferson, I need to talk to you. Would you excuse us for a minute?
Jax : Where have you been, man?
Stein : Cooking.
Jex : Yeah, I'm pretty sure this event's catered.
Stein : Not food. This.
Jex : Wait, I thought that the cure STAR Labs made for us was a blue one, not…
Stein : It is. This isn't the cure. This is a molecular resequencing smart virus with a non-normative reciprocal action.
Jax : Do you just make up scientific words to make yourself sound smarter?
Stein : The contents of this file will rewrite your DNA and give you superpowers.
Jax : Are you serious? What kind of powers?
Stein : Well, I extrapolated it from the genetic abilities of a Microhexura Montivaga. The spruce-fir moss spider.
Jax : You're trying to turn me into Spider-Man?
Stein : Well, no. I mean, you won't be super strong and able to lift ten times your body weight. Nor will you be able to shoot webs from a subdermal gland in your wrist flexor muscle.
Jax : But I'll have spidey-sense?
Stein : No, I'm afraid not.
Jax : So what powers will I have?
Stein : You'll be able to stick to things. Incredible adhesion. Like glue. You'll just be stuck right on something, no sliding off.
Jax : Mmm. The spectacular Sticky Man.
Stein : Well, I'm sure Cisco could fashion you a more exciting sobriquet. The important thing is, you can still have what you want. You told me, when we began our latest adventures, that all you wanted was superpowers and be able to be on the Waverider.
Jax : Yeah, but…
Stein : Now you can have both. You may not be able to be Firestorm anymore, but you can still be a Legend. I thought that would make you happy.
Jax : Yeah, you would think that.
Joe : Can I have everybody's attention for a second? Grab a drink. All right. So, the old man has a few words to say. What can I possibly say about Barry and Iris that everyone in this room doesn't already know? How they're special, and kind, and brave. But we all know that, so, I'm gonna talk to you all about somebody you might not know. Me. For the longest time, I have been happy just to be Dad to these two. And then Wally comes along and… Then watching them face what they have in the last few years with grace, and trust, and love, so much love… You see two people who love like that and you want it, too.
Cecile : Oh, I'm in this speech.
Joe : Yes, you are. So, Barry, Iris, thank you for showing me how to love again. For showing me that love is the most important thing we have. I love you guys. To Barry and Iris.
All : To Barry and Iris.
Oliver : It's no surprise, but that was a lovely speech.
Felicity : It was the perfect speech, straight from the heart.
Oliver : Yeah. We should consider doing something along these lines.
Felicity : Along what lines? What do you mean?
Oliver : I mean, the friends and family, and crab cakes, and toasts, and those lines.
Felicity : Oh, yeah? You wanna have a rehearsal dinner? What exactly would we be rehearsing?
Oliver : The thing that we would do the next day.
Felicity : Did I have some of Cisco's 10,000-proof cocktail that he gives to Barry so that he can get drunk, or are you asking me to marry you?
Oliver : What if I was?
Felicity : What?
Oliver : That was silly. I am. I mean, I don't wanna get down on one knee and make it overly formal, because I'm a little bit sore from handling those ninjas, but Felicity Megan Smoak, will you marry me?
Felicity : No.
Oliver : No?
Felicity : Yes.
Oliver : Yes?
Felicity : No. No, no. No. Yes, as in I meant no, no. No.
Oliver : I'm not understanding what's going on here.
Felicity : I love our life, I love what we have, I love William, I…
Oliver : Are you framing this for a "but"?
Felicity : Let's just talk about this another time.
Oliver : This might come as some surprise, but I'm actually physically incapable of talking about anything else right now.
Felicity : We don't need a piece of paper to show each other that we love each other.
Oliver : I totally agree with that. This has nothing to do with any types of pieces of paper. This has to do with you and me taking the opportunity to get up in front of the people that we love, to have the people who love us present, and make a commitment to one another.
Felicity : Yeah, and the commitment part is great. I'm so down for the commitment part.
Oliver : Mmm-hmm.
Felicity : Super on it with that, - but not the legal part.
Oliver : I'm still not understanding.
Felicity : Just forget about it.
Oliver : No, Felicity…
Felicity : Oliver, I don't wanna marry you.
Stein’s House
Mick : Ah. Professor. Your daughter insisted I not walk around your house naked, so I found one of your dresses. You're out of milk.
Church
Kara : Well, look what the cat dragged in.
Alex : Why is it so bright here? I mean, don't they have clouds on this Earth?
Kara : Where have you been?
Alex : Jeez.
Kara : Why didn't you come back to Joe's?
Alex : I was out.
Kara : "Out?" Out doing what?
Alex : Jogging. Fully clothed. Why?
Kara : Well, you had me so worried. You can't just disappear on another Earth.
Alex : Look, I didn't do anything that I wouldn't have done on our Earth.
Kara : Okay.
Alex : Per se.
Kara : Hey.
Sara : Hey, Kara.
Alex.
Alex : Yeah, that's…
Sara : Sara.
Alex : Sara. Okay.
Sara : That's me, I'm Sara.
Alex : I knew that. That's so funny. How are you? How are you? It's a lovely day, isn't it? It's such a perfect day for a wedding. How are you doing?
Sara : I'm good. A little hungover, but I'll survive. How are you? How's your butt? I heard you fall out of bed this morning and it sounded like it hurt.
Alex : Yeah, a little.
Sara : All right, I will catch you guys inside.
Kara : You…
Alex : It was not what it sounded like.
Kara : …didn't.
Alex : I did. I did. Like, twice, I think. Three times. My God, what did I do? What did I do? Do you know what I did?
Kara : Uh, not the specifics, no.
Alex : Look, I had a one-night stand.
Kara : You did.
Alex : Kara, it's horrible.
Kara : No.
Alex : I'm terrible. It's such a guy thing to do. I am a horrible, terrible guy.
Kara : No, you're a healthy, single lady. And you just had a really great time at a wedding, there's nothing wrong with that. You didn't do anything wrong.
Alex : I didn't?
Kara : No. And Sara's awesome. Except for the fact that she's an assassin.
Alex : She's an assassin?
Kara : Mmm-hmm.
Alex : Sassy assassin.
Kara : Get into this church now.
Woman : Welcome to the West/Allen wedding, can I show you to your seat? Are you here for the bride or groom?
Mick : Well, considering I've tried to kill the groom a couple of times, it's probably best I sit on the bride's side.
Woman : Uh, well, that would be the left side.
Mick : Great.
David : Do I know you?
Mick : I hate cops.
Cecile : Hi, David.
David : Hi, Cecile.
Mick : And lawyers.
Man : Friend from work?
David : Not quite.
Waitress : Would you like some sparkling water? Sparkling?
Barry : Excuse me? Oh, um…
Waitress : I just thought you might be a little parched. Big day, jitters and all. You're getting married.
Barry : I am.
Waitress : Today.
Barry : Today. Yes, I am. Today. Yeah.
Waitress : Yeah. So, sparkling water? I have lemon, I have lime.
Barry : I'm good. Thank you.
Waitress : Okay. I'm really excited to be here.
Barry : Oh.
Waitress : I mean, at a wedding. Any wedding. It just so happens to be your wedding.
Barry : You love weddings.
Waitress : I really do.
Barry : That's cool.
Waitress : Actually. And, I don't know, I just feel like this is gonna be one for the ages. I'm really happy I got to see it.
Barry : Have we met?
Waitress : No. No, I'm a complete and total stranger. Good luck up there. Just remember to say "I do".
Barry : Right.
Waitress : Okay.
Barry : All right.
Kara : That's my cue. You sit. Take that.
Joe : I wish your parents were here to see this.
Barry : They are.
Man : Everyone, please be seated. Welcome to you all. I'm honored to be presiding over the wedding of Barry Allen and Iris West. Although I don't know them well, I know that this is a good match. How do I know that? Well… Because of you, because of all of you. Looking out at their friends and their family and seeing the joy on all your faces, seeing how happy you are for them, tells me everything I need to know. It tells me that these two people deserve to be together. They deserve to be happy and fulfilled. And they deserve a long life together. And now to the standard housekeeping. Does anyone have just cause why these two should not be married? Speak now, or forever hold your peace.
Nazi Kara : Peace is overrated.
Iris : Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Oliver : Nazis? I hate Nazis.
Kara : I hate Nazis. Get everybody out of here!
Barry : Go, get 'em out, okay? Hey. I love you.
Iris : I love you.
Barry : Go.
Harrison : Out! Out. Out, everybody out.
Cisco : I think it's time you introduced these guys to your mean roommate.
Caitlin : Where did she get this outfit?
Mick : That's what I'm talking about.
Kara : Who are you?
Nazi Kara : Come find out.
Nazi Oliver : One weapon, two humans.
Sara : Wanna fight?
Oliver : Cisco, up top! I need a breach!
Alex : Nice.
Sara : Yeah.
Nazi Kara : Stay down.
Nazi Oliver : No! Fall back. Everybody fall back.
Mick : Best wedding ever.
Stra Lab
Barry : Iris. I'm so sorry.
Iris : I know, babe. And, I'm fine. The most important thing is that we're both okay. And look, who knew that Monique Lhuillier could survive a gunfight, roght?
Barry : I am going to marry you.
Iris : I know.
Stein : There must be some way to wake him up. I honestly think the world has gone mad.
Caitlin : He's definitely got a concussion. It's not too bad, though. He'll be out for a little while.
Stein : May I ask why you're dressed like that?
Caitlin : Oh. I become Killer Frost whenever I'm angry or scared, and something tells me I'm gonna be both of those before this is all over.
Stein : Astonishing.
Wally : So, what's the game plan?
Barry : There is none yet. Whoever attacked us knows who we are, so I think just get Joe and Cecile as far away as possible.
Wally : Oh, no way, man. I have to help out. Come on.
Barry : You're helping by keeping our family safe.
Joe : He's right. Until we know what these people want, nobody's safe.
Oliver : You wiped the minds of the guests at the wedding?
Mick : Yep. Everyone's secret identity remains secret.
Barry : Any idea where they fled?
Kara : No. I flew over the entire city, there's no trace of them.
Iris : Well, clearly they attacked because you all were there.
Barry : Killers, heroes, then what?
Felicity : If I know my history, ethnic cleansing, world domination.
Jax : Make America Aryan again.
Caitlin : Which it never was.
Iris : Hashtag "melting pot".
Mick : I hate Nazis.
Stein : Their appearance seems quite a severe course of action in support of a cause that was defeated over 70 years ago.
Barry : Apparently they didn't know about the Yalta Conference.
Mick : What's a Yalta?
Kara : That woman didn't seem surprised to see me.
Alex : How did she even know you were on this Earth?
Barry : And how was she as strong as you?
Oliver : That archer matched me, shot for shot. You know, I think it's time we got some answers.
Jax : Yeah, he ain't exactly talking.
Oliver : So let's make him talk.
Roof
Nazi Oliver : The Kryptonian was stronger than we anticipated.
Nazi Kara : Next time, she won't be so lucky.
Nazi Harrison : What did you do? What did you do? You were supposed to wait until we were ready before you attacked!
Nazi Oliver : Opportunity knocked in the form of a wedding. We answered.
Nazi Harrison : Opportunity knocked and you answered. Well, now, because of your recklessness, we have lost Prometheus.
Nazi Kara : Boys, boys, boys, don't fight. You need to save your power, your anger, for those heroes. We will have another chance to achieve victory. And when we do, we will kill every last one of them.
